Friday, December 28, 2007

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

An excerpt from the Department of Homeland Security web site:

"While there continues to be no credible information at this time warning of an imminent threat to the homeland, the department's strategic threat perspective is that we are in a period of increased risk. All Americans should continue to be vigilant, take notice of their surroundings, and report suspicious items or activities to local authorities immediately."

Our National Threat Advisory has been elevated since its inception and has only bumped up from Elevated (yellow) to High (orange) once or twice. We have a separate and higher threat advisory for just domestic and international flights. And all while there continues to be no credible information. How are we supposed to deal with that besides remaining incredibly frightened?

About once every 100 million years an asteroid hits Earth and wipes everything out. The last one hit about 60 million years ago. Holy shit! Do you realize our Death from Unknown Masses, Bodies, Asteroids and Spherical Structures threat advisory is elevated? Please join me in getting a hard hat and binoculars and vigilantly watching the skies for suspicious signs of big frickin' asteroids headed our way. Then we call the local authorities. And if they call us "dumbass", we'll be comforted in knowing that they know exactly what we're talking about.

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