Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Love Connection

I got a Blackberry at work back in August. I've mentioned before that I'm not into all the extra features, one of which is texting. Late last December I received a text message from a number I'm not familiar with.

Where are you Sexy Bisket?

Sexy Bisket is not a moniker I've ever gone by nor it is one I would choose. I ignored the message. It was either a prank being played by my wife (like that I Saw You ad she placed in the Inlander for me once) or someone was entering familiar numbers in the wrong order. Of course, Kathy denied any knowledge which, true or false, is the answer to be expected.

A month later I receive another text from the same number.

Sexy Bisket

Well, whoever they are, they must be adept at texting. Every letter in that message except for "t" requires multiple button pushes. (Yeah, I'm geeky enough to think of that.) So they're either dyslexic when it comes to numbers or it's a prank. Kathy still says she doesn't know anything about it and I ignore the message.

Last Saturday I get another text.

Hey, Sexy Bisket

They're still on that single track. I ignore it. Yesterday, another one. Since the frequency picked up I decided to call their number from a land line. I get a recording stating the phone is either turned off or it's out of range. What the heck? They just sent me a text and then turned their phone off?

So I'm riding the bus home and my Blackberry rings. It's the Sexy Bisket texter. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: (When I answer I hear a loud TV and lots of people talking in the background.) "Hello"

SBT: (Shouting in a raspy voice. Sounds like a woman in her 50's who has smoked all her life) "Hell-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?"

Me: "Hello."

SBT: "Hell-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?"

Me: "Hello." (Yeah, it's like we were born to connect with each other.)

SBT: "Who is this?"

Me: (I don't answer. I'm thinking this is going to be a fruitless and frustrating effort on my part to convince this person they're calling the wrong number.)

SBT: "I don't know who this is." (Hangs up)

Well, that went better than I thought it would. No repeating the same explanation to someone suffering through incoherence and loud noise. I don't have to have this conversation on the bus. I don't have to have this conversation at all. Goodbye, Sexy Bisket texter.

Kathy still insists on her innocence. She's either getting really good at keeping a straight face or she's actually telling the truth.

I hope that lady made it home from the bar okay.

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