We try to make dinner time fun at our house. Consequently, we have some of the strangest and funniest topics of conversation. Last night's included starting a north-side Flying Irish for the O'Doherty's that just opened at Division and Hawthorne, how Kathy should run in underwear at least once, Josh's four-pound weight gain (whoa, you got fat) since the fall and Colon Flow. Don't ask how we made the transitions. We just let nature take its course. One day Steph will write funny stories about our dinner conversations. She should because she tells them so well.
I'm a huge fan of word play so at the end of dinner I thought I'd play with Steph and Josh.
Me: "I'm flipping an imaginary coin and whoever calls it right clears the table. The other person washes the dishes." (I mime a coin flip, catch, and slap it on top of my other hand.)
Steph: "How can you do that? You don't have a coin."
Me: "It's an imaginary coin and you have to call it right. What do you call it, Steph?"
Steph: "Whatever side is facing up."
Me: "What do you call it, Josh?"
Josh: "I call it right."
Me: "Josh got it."
Steph: "What? You can't call it right. There's no right. It's a coin flip. It's heads or tails."
Josh: "Dad said whoever calls it 'right' clears the table. I called it 'right'. Get it?"
Steph: "How'd you know to say that?"
Josh: "I got it right away."
Steph: "(to me) That's not fair. You said you were flipping a coin. That's stupid. (to Josh) Nobody gets that."
Me: "An imaginary coin. And I said you get to clear the table if you called it 'right'. You called it 'whatever side is facing up' so you're washing dishes."
One more story for Steph to tell. Although this one may surface during a therapy session. Kathy can only shake her head and wonder how she's going to survive thirty more years with me.
Not Riding Newport, R.I.
4 days ago