Thursday, April 21, 2011

TSA Mind Games

So I'm at the Spokane International Airport again and I'm waiting in line to go through the magnetometer when the agent in front of the radioactive backscatter porn scanner waves me over.

Me: "I'd like to opt out."

Agent: "Sir you cannot opt out (dramatic pause) because I haven't asked you yet. Please step over here."

I step over.

Agent: "Sir, would you like to opt out of this procedure?"

Me: "Yes."

Agent: "Sir, why do you want to opt out?"

Me: "Because I can."

Agent: (pointing an official looking finger at me). "Sir, you are correct that you may opt out but you cannot fly (dramatic pause) until I brief you on the opt out procedures."

So he briefed me on the opt out procedures and I moved on over to the Group W bench and got all felt up again. The machine went "bing!" and I was cleared to go.

How appropriate to use dramatic pauses in security theater.


Anonymous said...

You can't say we have a fascist government [pause] unless you mean the past ten years.

Anonymous said...

It probably didn't feel like it at the time, but reading about it in the blog, maybe you could have added the "Humor" label to go with "Bureaucracy" and "Civil Liberties".

Hank Greer said...

Good point. Sardonic humor.

Shan said...

That just sounds like an SNL skit, how can it be reality?

Hank Greer said...

In this case, Shan, (dramatic pause) reality wrote the script.