So I'm at the Spokane International Airport again and I'm waiting in line to go through the magnetometer when the agent in front of the radioactive backscatter porn scanner waves me over.
Me: "I'd like to opt out."
Agent: "Sir you cannot opt out (dramatic pause) because I haven't asked you yet. Please step over here."
I step over.
Agent: "Sir, would you like to opt out of this procedure?"
Agent: "Sir, why do you want to opt out?"
Me: "Because I can."
Agent: (pointing an official looking finger at me). "Sir, you are correct that you may opt out but you cannot fly (dramatic pause) until I brief you on the opt out procedures."
So he briefed me on the opt out procedures and I moved on over to the Group W bench and got all felt up again. The machine went "bing!" and I was cleared to go.
How appropriate to use dramatic pauses in security theater.
Cafe Tour. Providence, R.I.
1 day ago