Thursday, June 2, 2016

We Are Creatures Of Habit

On Tuesday afternoon I left work to drive to Yakima. I changed out of my work clothes and put on shorts and a t-shirt so I'd be more comfortable during the three-hour drive.  After checking into my room I laid out the clothes I was going to wear to work on Wednesday.

I did not have any pants.

Since I bike commute I take my clothes to work and leave them there for the week. I drove to work on Tuesday and I wore normal office clothes to work. When I changed into shorts, instead of packing that pair of pants or one of the others I have at work, I hung them up with the others because that's what I do when I leave work.

So it was Shorts and T-shirt Wednesday for me.


Donald Trump said...

I'm a big fan. You never say quit. You're not a quitter, Hank.

You make America great again. You have the habits of a winner. Like Trump. Beautiful. Love the shorts. Love the t-shirt.

Beautiful. America.

Lose the bicycle. You're fired, Chinese bicycle! America is not China. In Trump America, you drive. Drive with Trump. Beautiful. Keep your pants on. No Chinese bicycle pant thieves. No more!

Yakima? Great legal Hispanics, Hispanics love Trump! In Trump America, a taco bowl in every oven! Trump Tower Taco Bowls. Beautiful.

We need more of you people. Love legally Hispanic. Trump U scholarships for the legally Hispanic. How about that!

Not Mexican? Fat beautiful wall. Throw your China bicycle over that fat wall, Hank. Sayonara Mexico! Mucho dinero, rapists!

Good habits, Hank, great, really great. Winner. Big fan. Shorts. Legally Hispanic Shorts. Shorts love Trump! Beautiful.

Ivanka wears shorts. My lovely daughter. Wears shorts. I tell you. You should see her.


America. said...

Well, Hank, I think my opponent has revealed the stakes of this election. America and the world can ill-afford an inexperienced, incoherent president with his big, um, finger on the nuclear button. When it comes to questions of war and peace, like invading Iraq or Libya, we need someone with the competence, good judgment, and intelligence to make the right decision.

OK, maybe not Iraq and Libya. Bad examples. But you get my point.

America needs someone who is consistent and trustworthy, not a president who was for the TPP before he was against it, not someone who takes money from international financiers and shady payoffs from Wall Street, not someone who has given every indication of a penchant for secrecy and outright lying.

OK, bad examples, but you get my point.

Hank, the stakes are clear. You can fall for the pandering of a candidate who appeals to your white maleness, who offers you rights while denying them to Muslims and Hispanics, or you can support a candidate who believes firmly that human rights are women's rights and women's rights are human rights.

OK, problematic logic perhaps, but you get my point, I'm sure.

Just know this Hank, that my opponent can not ensure that white men will continue to wear the pants in this country. My opponent can mansplain his fat walls, but only I offer a 137 point plan, 12 points of which are public, a plan which will require that American men make correct sartorial choices in the workplace, while subsidizing pantsuits for all.

Consider your options, Hank, and please know that I will accept your vote, but it's not like I'm saying that I actually need it or want it or anything.

Oh hell, just vote for Trump.

Feel the alter kocker said...

I can't even find the words anymore. I gotta go Brooklyn, shmendrik, khnyok, shlegel. You know, the kind that would pull the shorts in a wedgie. While that macher Hillary snickers! Beyond insane. Mishegas.

I can never join the club. Not in the House, not in the Senate. The media ignores me, except to call me a racist. Me, the one who actually marched,got arrested. CORE, SNCC? Where was Hillary? In Life magazine. For a speech. They gave her the keys to the country club. She never left.

I'm a SEXIST for running for president, now! It's like my bubbe would say, fill the right pocket with bullshit or the left with cowshit and either way the pants are ruined.

Trump or Clinton and Americans get bupkes. Either way. Unless you're rich.

This election isn't over. They don't believe me, they never believe me, but this is not over.