So I get to the hotel and unpack. I open the closet and see these. The robes are for complimentary use and available for purchase for $120. The tag on the robe says "Release Your Wild Side." I can think of no greater humiliation than prancing around wearing one of these. I'll pass.
The camisoles and boxers are for purchase only. Their tag says "Do You Know What's Going On In The Closet?"
I don't think I want to know.
After unpacking I went for a four mile run--with my shoes on. The guys up front told me about a canal nearby with a hardpack trail so I checked it out. It was frickin' HOT! Being the only one out there, anyone who saw me rightly figured me for a fool who's not from around here. I'm going to go again early in the morning when it's cooler.