"Yes," the young lady behind the register happily replied, "We have a senior discount for anyone 55 and older."
"Hank, show her your ID."
The young lady takes one look at me and says, "Oh, you don't need to show any ID."
* * * * * * *
There's a small coffee/sandwich shop downtown where I occasionally order a sandwich in the morning and pick it up at the end of my run during lunch. I try to catch their attention when I'm outside the shop so I don't offend any of the patrons by entering the place all sweaty and smelly. A young lady working there knows that and uttered the most appropriate malapropism.
"I try to keep an eye out for you but you always disappear out of nowhere."
Unfortunately that never works when there's yard work to be done.