Parents across the country kept their children home so they would not be indoctrinated by President Obama's speech encouraging them to stay in school, set goals, and take an active role in obtaining a good education. You can imagine the uproar when a politician gets to address school children directly without any parental review of the message beforehand.
In other news today, schools across the country reported an unusual spike reflecting increased test scores and aptitude levels...
Yes, the video is a parody. The real ones were too bizarre. ;-)
*** Update - An example for you. "It's gettin' more like com-muh-nizm."