...to plop a two year old in seat 27B, stuff their diaper bag under the seat in front of them, and tell the people in 27A and 27C, "She shouldn't need changing for a while, but you never know with kids. There's a bottle in the end pocket, right there, in case she gets hungry. She usually cries herself to sleep and sometimes she projectile vomits. That's what the towel there is for. I'll be up in seat 9F if there's a problem."
No, that could never happen.